Dream Number Fifteen

I was livin' in a town called Silence,
On Thursday there was an act of violence,
Mister Robinson butchered his dear 'ol wife,
After killin' over half the province.

Now naturally people were curious
As to what went down that day,
So they broke into the mortuary
To see her body so they'd say.

But I knew they were up to no good
So I decided to foil their plan,
I stood in their way with a baseball bat,
And I watched 'em as they ran.

On Sunday they held the funeral,
And everyone was dressed in black,
Except for Katherine Hepburn, well
She was wearin' a burlap sack.

After the church service,
With everybody weepin' as they should,
They drove the coffin to the helicopter
To fly her off for good.

But I wanted to say my last goodbye
So I went on up the hill,
When I got the top I couldn't believe what I saw:
Jimmy Stewart lookin' ready to kill.

Now I said 'hold on a second'
But Jimmy lunged at me anyway,
He was swingin' that axe like a maniac,
So naturally I turned and ran away.

But Jimmy didn't give up the chase,
He ran right on after me,
Straight down the hill onto a grassy knoll,
The man was crazy as can be.

We ran across the street and
I was dodgin' cars like a game of frogger,
But I bumped into my mom, and she said with alarm
'how come you don't have a job, huh?"

Well I didn't have time to answer,
Coz Jimmy's axe smashed into the hood,
So I smiled and ran, while he cursed and sang
That crazy song, Clint Eastwood.

But I got no sunshine in my bag,
Not feelin' too happy right now at all,
Nevertheless, even though I look a mess,
I ran into the parking lot of the mall.

Bobbin' and weavin' through the parked cars,
Tryin' not to look at the girls in skirts,
I bumped into a pimp and he showed me a Nurse,
She said 'show me where it hurts...'

Now as you can imagine this was mighty tempting,
But once again I was forced to flee,
By Jimmy “the madman” Stewart
And the axe that he carries.

So I ran outta the side of the mall,
Across the street, and over a dam,
I was in a spillway and for no real reason
I shouted 'Hasta La Vista, Man!'

In hindsight that was stupid,
Coz down into the spillway Jimmy came,
So I started runnin’ again, while the whole while,
Holdin' my hands and prayin' for rain.

Sure enough "the man" delivered,
But it wasn't rain no, it was hail,
My ears were bitin' and my nose went red,
And my legs were hurtin' like hell.

Now I knew that I'd soon fall,
So I took a chance and jumped under a bridge,
Pullin' myself up I hid a crevice,
I hoped it'd work, and I tell ya it did.

Jimmy just ran right on by,
Rantin' and ravin' like the loon he is,
So I jumped on down, then went back into town
To meet that Nurse, and get me a kiss.