Tuesday, October 05, 2004

#000000

I just can't or
Just couldn't
But I don't
Maybe some
One doesn't
Believe in
Anything.

Please help me

Stuttering, I am struggling
To make myself heard
Between my depressing
Thoughts and attempts to
Draw breath.

Please help

It feels like I'm waiting
For something that
May never arrive but
Could have already
Passed me by.

Please

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Pretty Girl

Time is still when
Looking at a pretty
Girl. You'll have a
Dream; a fantasy
As fleeting as the
Wind, but just as
Real.

Then of course
She approaches
Her boyfriend.
Sod's law, that.

Crowded Foyer

All alone in a crowded foyer.

Bustling to and fro,
Or simply lounging and
Reading the paper;
All the troubles of today.

Girl sits opposite me,
Drinks coffee and eats
Crisps. There's a pack of
Baccy too, have a smoke.

She says "hi" to some
Friends, and a man
Walks through in a
Bright yellow jacket.

There's a woman who
Looks like Ann, but
It's not her; Ann was
Much prettier than that.

Girl rolls a fag whilst
Talking on mobile. Now
She's talking to someone.
Now she's left with him.

All alone in a crowded foyer.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Three-Month Window

I

I kissed you the other day,
By the river that bends at
The tall pear tree. I kissed you
And felt alive for the first time.

I watched you live and
Love whoever you want-
-ed. And I watched as this
Slowly killed you from inside.

II

Months pass like years as
The leaves turn a mouldy brown
And fall from trees. Gathering
At our feet where they
Engage in disinformation.

You died on a cold Thursday
In November; In the park but
Frail and weak, the biting wind
Took you. I'll never forget that kiss;
It's my only memory of you.

III

Suffocating myself on the
Ashes of yesterday's baptism.
Fire consumes my lungs and I'm
Trying to remember how it feels to breathe without pain.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Night Sky

Laying;
Head against my pillow,
I watch as dark clouds of the blackest ink
Roll across the moonlit sky.

Intertwining;
The ink clouds stretch and twist,
Forming grotesque abstractions that
Will terrorise my mind later.

Shining;
From behind the clouds, the moon
Tears through the ink and assaults the
Cornea with pinpoint precision.

Squinting;
I turn away and suffocate myself
Until I have suffered enough, then I decide
I should probably take a walk.

Walking;
Down cobbled streets where
Old men cooked pies during the waking
Hours, time was seemingly standing still.

Breathing;
Softly as the sand I stepped on,
Forever leaving my mark on the earth but
Only for a short while.

Coughing;
Sea air fills my lungs and I'm
Not used to anything like it, however I
pull my collar up and breath slower.

Watching;
Ink rolls over water and I feel
Like I'm in school again, the innocence
Of youth is recaptured for an instant.

Dreaming;
That you were here. Sublime as
I feel alone, your hand in mine would
Warm my heart, and hand.